Lead Astray By Your Eyes

May 2025, Written by Jessie Keller,

Lately, I have been reminded of just how tricky our eyes can be.

The moment we see something, our minds rush to interpret it. We decide what is happening, what it means, and what we should do next—sometimes before we have taken a moment to notice what we are actually feeling.

This becomes incredibly clear when you are learning how to follow in salsa.

A follower may see the leader move in a particular direction and assume that they are supposed to go with them. But what the eyes see is not always the same as what the body is being asked to do.

If there is a disconnect between what we see and what we feel, the mind often takes over. We anticipate the move, guess what is coming next, and go in the wrong direction.

I know this because I have done it plenty of times.

Sometimes, when I am following, I close my eyes for a few moments. Removing the visual noise helps me tune into the physical connection—the gentle pushes, pulls, shifts, and nudges coming from my partner.

It also helps me become a more honest follower.

If I do not feel a clear signal asking me to move, I do not move.

At first, that can feel uncomfortable. As followers, we may worry that if we do not complete the move, we will make the leader look bad. We may try to “help” by guessing what they intended.

But guessing does not necessarily help either person grow.

When I respond only to what is actually being communicated, I give the leader honest feedback. My response shows them what their signals are truly saying—not simply what they hoped they were saying.

That honesty helps them become a clearer, more intentional leader. It also helps me become a more patient and present follower.

The more I think about it, the more I realize this lesson reaches far beyond the dance floor.

Life is also filled with visual noise. We see what other people are doing, what they have achieved, and what their lives look like from the outside.

Our minds immediately begin creating stories about what we should do, where we should be, and which direction we should go.

Meanwhile, the quieter signals inside us can become harder to hear.

So how do we keep our eyes open, live in the real world, and still remain deeply connected to what we feel?

How do we allow life to guide us without trying to anticipate, control, or force every next step?

The honest answer?

I have no clue. 😂

At least, I do not have one perfect answer.

What I do know is that we can learn skills that bring us back to ourselves. We can slow down, breathe, become quiet, notice what is happening in our bodies, and ask ourselves what we are truly feeling.

Then we practice doing it again.

And again.

And again.

Not because we will remain perfectly centered every day, but because returning to ourselves becomes easier with practice.

When old fears, past hurts, or familiar patterns rise to the surface, we can gently work through them instead of allowing them to lead us automatically. We can make space for what happened in the past while still asking, “What is true for me right now?”

Perhaps trusting life is a little like learning to follow.

We do not have to predict every move.

We do not have to rush ahead.

We do not have to pretend we received a signal that was never there.

We can stay present, pay attention, and respond honestly to what we are experiencing.

Sometimes we will misread the signal. Sometimes we will move too early, too late, or in completely the wrong direction. That is part of dancing—and part of being human.

We pause, reconnect, and begin again.

Maybe the magic is not in always knowing where life is taking us.

Maybe it is in becoming quiet enough to feel the invitation—and trusting ourselves enough to respond.